Them

Gavin and I were at Target on Saturday afternoon and we ran into Them. Them. The people now who are so foreign to me and see life in a way I no longer can and while I’m not envious of them per se, they do make me wistful for a simpler time. The “Them” I am speaking of are The Childless Couple. You know the ones. They look great, no bags under their eyes, have oodles of money to spend on themselves, a rockin’ nightlife, hope for a future filled with nights of hours of sleep and clean carpets, and no bruised feet (seeing as how they don’t step on 50 Little People toys a day).

They were quick to hug me and tell me how good I look… you know… considering. The considering is the still wet hair from having no time to dry it, stained clothes, and a belly that is getting so big that my place of work is going to assign a name badge specifically for it to be in compliance. The discussion turned to all the wonderful things they were doing in their D.I.N.K-y life (D.I.N.K= dual income no kid) but surprising to me, they told me about how anxious they were to start having kids. The guy wanted someone to call him da-da (I won’t tell you what thought ran through my head when he said that) and she didn’t want to hear anything bad about pregnancy, childbirth or parenting. I told her she was out of luck and she better not ask me for advice because I’m not good at lying. They laughed and then came the assumption I hear from the “Thems” all the time: parenting is easy and after all, it must be, you’re having another one.

Let me clear two things up. Parenting is lots of things but easy is not one of them. I thought their declaration of “parenting is easy” was quite funny as it coincided with Gavin chewing up a handful of goldfish crackers, leaning over the side of the cart, spitting them all out, and me getting on my hands and knees to clean it all up with wadded up tissues I keep in my purse. Hi, I’m Amanda, and I used to do keg stands at parties at WVU and now I carry wadded up Kleenexes in my purse. Parenting is wonderful, difficult, sweet, bitter, joyful, amazing, stressful, and the greatest blessing I have ever experienced BUT parenting is NOT easy.

The other point I would like to clear up is that I’m not having another child because parenting is easy so don’t point to my belly as exhibit A for why parenting is easy. I’m in the family way for several reasons- many of which were the positives I mentioned when describing parenting- but also because this is what happens when I drink too much and I fail to use contraceptives. Granted, I always wanted two children but I am not doing this because it is easy… because I’m easy, sure, but not because it is easy. Got it?