How to get out of jury duty

Me: Hi, yes, ummmm, I was called to jury duty at the end of this month and I was just calling to make sure that arrangements could be made to meet my "special needs".

Docket clerk: Special needs?

Me: See, I'm a breastfeeding mother and I need to pump my breast milk while I am away from my daughter to ensure that I can continue to provide breast milk for her.

Docket clerk: What kind of arrangements will you need?

Me: I will need adequate time away... about 20 minutes every two or three hours... and a private room for me to pump my breast milk. I need the room to have access to a sink and/or running water. Then I will also need a refrigerator that I can use to store my expressed breast milk in.

Docket clerk: I see. Can you hold?

Me: Yes I can hold, thank you.

Shuffling of papers, clicking of the phone on the desk.

Docket clerk: Ma'am?

Me: Yes?

Docket clerk: Ummmmm, how about if I just excuse you from jury duty?

Me: That would be wonderful seeing as how I will need to pump breast milk when I'm away from my daugher but I would really like to fullfill my civic....

Docket clerk: No. No, ummm, just don't worry about that. I'll excuse you and maybe...

Me: I'm sure she'll be weaned in two, maybe three years and then....

Docket clerk: No. No, don'y worry about it. I'll excuse you. I, ummmm, understand. You are excused from jury duty. I'll just make a note of it right here.

Me: Thank you. Have a nice day.

Docket clerk: You too.