BOOBS!

I haven’t talked about the girls in awhile and since I just know all of you have been lying awake at night wondering “now just what has Amanda’s boobs been up to lately”, I thought I would do your sleepless minds a favor and devote an entire post to my breasts. You can thank me later.

I can’t believe in a little more than three weeks the Goose will be the age that comes after 11 months (I still can’t say it) and we will fall into the category of extended breastfeeding. I really hate that term. Extended. Extended from what? Extended from the cultural norm? I live in South Carolina so in comparison to mu culture (let's pretend that SC has culture, shall we?), I have been extended breastfeeding since she was a month old. Extended because we’re nursing past a year? So because she is 366 days old rather than 365 days nursing somehow becomes extended? If Grace wants to nurse past a year then she wants to nurse past a year and it is extended from anything. It’s just nursing to Grace. Nothing more nothing less and I really think labels like “extended” make nursing a child who is the age that comes after 11 months seem freakish and weird rather than what it really is: perfectly normal for that individual child who is the age that comes after 11 months.

We have had such an easy time at breastfeeding and she is still very much attached to it but come one, let’s face it. You’ve seen my rack. Who wouldn’t be attached to it? (Ick. A sexual joke in the context of discussing breastfeeding your child is never kosher, is it?) I still can’t believe we’ve made it this far. I have been pumping 2-3 times a day at work since she was 9 weeks old and for the first 10 months of her life, she would only sleep if she was snuggled next to me attached to the boob. Still, compared to nursing Gavin and what many other moms go through trying to work and nurse their babies, we have had a really easy go at it with tons of support. The husband has been very supportive. He is the washer of the pump parts, the listener of my breastfeeding woes, and the biggest doubter of my ability to nurse Grace. Before Grace was born he actually told me he didn’t think I would be able to breastfeed Grace. On his behalf, he did see me go effing nuts after Gavin was born and feared for his life daily until I weaned Gavin. What he didn’t know is that telling me “I don’t think you can do something” is the equivalent of telling Marty McFly he is “chicken”. I hate to be told I can’t do something so before Grace was born those 6 little words drove me to do everything in my power to ensure what happened with Gavin did not happen with Grace. Fortunately I didn’t experience the horrible post partum depression I had after Gavin’s birth with Grace. Either Vitamin Z is that good or I just got lucky.

While the husband has been super supportive of me nursing Grace, I do sense that he would like for me to wean her sooner than later. I believe he has grown tired of the yellow, do not cross, police tape I wrap around my boobs any time Grace is not on them and the fact that I am unable to be away from Grace for any great length of time and not have to worry about what I eat or drink. Plus, while I do enjoy nursing her, as of late I have been complaining more and more about her biting and twiddling. I have been hesitant to mention the biting and twiddling on here because in true lactivist form I didn’t want to write anything on my board that would deter someone from giving breastfeeding a shot but DAMN! SHE BITES AND SHE TWIDDLES AND IT DRIVES ME NUTS! Whew. I feel better now that I got that off my chest. Baby teeth are freakishly sharp. They are designed that way so they can cut through their gums and apparently through their mother’s breast tissue. She doesn’t bite all the time but she has certainly made a sport of it. I can always tells when she is about to bite because she looks up at me and smiles with twinkling eyes and just when she knows I am captivated with all her cuteness and under the spell of all that is my sweet, baby Goose, she clamps down with such fury and then laughs as if to say “SUCKA!!!! GOT YOU AGAIN, BIOTCH!”. I am now impervious to her charm and as soon as she smiles, I still my finger in her mouth and tell her no. When I tell her no she looks at me like I just bit her boob off. Now who’s the SUCKA!!!

The twiddling has been going on for some time. I used to keep my hand over the non-nursing breast as if to keep it from jumping off my chest over the fear of being bitten but I’ve gotten lazy. She used to always fight with me to twiddle and play her little game of Tune in Tokyo and when I prevented her from doing it she would bite so I would have to use my hand to keep her from biting and then she would go in for the kill and grab on and start twiddling with all her might. Get her twiddling fix, if you will. She still nurses once a night and she while she is a mild twiddling fanatic during the day, she turns into full-blown twiddling maniac during the night. I swear, it is like nursing a baby while be groped by a 14 year old boy. I try to stop her and she smacks at me and if I cover the non nursing breast she’ll start clawing and kneading my stomach and I wake up looking like Freddy Kreugar got a hold of me. I’ve explained why baby teeth are so freakishly sharp but I have no idea why their fingernails could rival Edward Scissorhands.

All that said, I do plan on working to stop the twiddling and biting so I can allow Grace to nurse until the year that comes after the age that comes after 11 months if she so desires. We’ve come too far for me to wean her now and there things I can do to nip her less than desirable nursing etiquette in the bud. Besides, she really, really likes to nurse- she needs to nurse- and it is so very good for her. What mother wouldn’t want to fulfill her child’s needs when she is able?