Check you later

We're on our way to Myrtle Beach tomorrow! We earned our way to a family vacation and hopefully I can get my big boutt moving in the morning so we can hit the open road by 8:00. I haven't even packed yet so I'm not holding my breath but on my behalf, the husband bowls on Monday nights so I was single parenting it tonight and I got totally caught up in an episode of Wife Swap (side note: dude, if you're feeling even the slightest bit insecure about your own family, do yourself a favor and watch Wife Swap. Believe you me it can be much, much worse. You can thank me later.) and then my dad called and the next thing you know it is 9:00 and I have two dirty, cranky kids with diapers full of poo and a dryer full of laundry needing to be folded.

Part of the reason why we are going to Myrtle Beach (aka the Redneck Riviera) is because this is the last summer for the Myrtle Beach Pavilion. Over the past decade the Pavilion has become something of a haven for rednecks in wife beaters and airbrushed t-shirts and license plates (don't front.... you know the husband and I are getting matching tees with Amanda [heart] Lloyd 2006. Jealous much?) but back in the day when I was a mere 5 years old, the Pavilion was the place to be.

My family and I vacationed in Myrtle Beach every summer. In fact, considering every car in every parking lot of every hotel had West Virginia plates, I'm pretty sure it was state law that West Virginians vacation in Myrtle Beach. We always stayed at The Court Capri and spent days lounging on the beach and swimming in the pool and nights riding the rides at the Pavilion, taking in attractions like Ripley's Believe It or Not, and shopping at the Gay Dolphin. I remember like yesterday the summer of 1981 when I went to The Gay Dolphin and picked out my beloved stuffed dog, Flash (named after Flash Gordon). I still have Flash and it pains me to say that he now resides in a box in the garage and I was unable to find him for a blog post photo op. I will find Flash and he will have his day. So let it be written. So let it be done.

Summers spent at Myrtle Beach and at the Pavilion bring back a flood of memories. My fondest memory is riding a roller coaster for the first time. Again, it was the summer of 1981 and I was only 5 years old. My brother and sister were too afraid to ride the coaster with my mom so I stepped up to the plate. I took great joy in doing things they couldn't or wouldn't do even though I was pissing myself with fear the entire way. The ride operator measured me to see if I was tall enough for the ride and I stood on my tippy toes as tall as I cold possibly make myself and the dude let me on. I thought I had totally pulled a fast one on him but little did I know that ride operators were usually drunk and/or illiterate and generally lacked the ability to measure correctly. I was scared to death and hung on to my mom for dear life as we looped dee looped upside down twice through the corkscrews.

When I got off the ride, I was the hottest shit for all of a nanosecond because I wasn't afraid of riding the upside down roller coaster. My vast accomplishment was all too soon lost on my siblings as they resumed their torturing of me and farting on my head within 5 minutes but that ride sparked my love affair with all things addrenaline and roller coaster related. Just a mere 15 years later I would become a ride hostess at Cedar Point and freefall 152 feet daily and think nothing of it.

Another Pavilion milestone was when I was thirteen I was finally old enough to go to the Magic Attic- Myrtle Beach's only under 18 night club (if you're a country music fan, Alabama sings about the Magic Attic in one of their songs). It was a rite of passage for all adolescents in West Virginia. I shopped that day for the perfect orange day-glo Mytle Beach emblazened tee-shirt to go with my black biker shorts and sparkling white Keds sneakers. Dude, I was so ready to rock the party that rocks the body. I met a boy that night named Heath and wouldn't you know that I still keep in touch with him? He is married to a doctor and is the Army now stationed in Afghanistan.

Many summers were spent at Myrlte Beach and at the Pavilion. A quarter of a century ago my parents took me there and now I'm going to share it with my kids before it is gone. No, they won't remember it and no, I probably won't even enjoy it since the Pavilion has long jumped the shark and is long past its hayday but it is important to me.

Don't worry, I'll post tons of pictures and just for you, I may sport some orange day-glo.