Day 12: What Not To ExpectPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting

When you get that notion, put your backfield in motion

Officially a Mom

Putting that Backfield in Motion since 2003

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

It's my blog and I can bitch if I want to

I usually try to keep this blog upbeat and fun. Not to put up some front, because sans the random episode of post partum psychosis after the birth of my first born child, that is generally who I am.

I'm upbeat and fun.

I'm one of those annoying "the glass is always half-full", "God has a plan", "two sides to every story", "everything happens for a reason", and "the broken road led me to you" kind of people.

Yes, I'm Susie freakin' Sunshine.

Well, Susie is pissed.

The Gavinator turns three in a week and we are having his birthday party this Saturday. The invitations have been sent and party plans are underway and then I get this in the in-box of my hotmail account today:

"We will not be able to drive south this weekend for Gavin's birthday. We would really love to be there and we miss all of you so much but sometimes things just can't be worked out the way you want. I will try to call you tonight and talk to you as sending an e-mail seems a little impersonal don't you agree. We love the pictures and movie clips you have sent. Love, Mommie Dearest"


I've been sympathetic. I've been rational.

I've been everything in between and now I'm pissed.

Tell me. Who doesn't come and visit their grandchildren for over a year? Who doesn't come to their grandson's first and only third birthday party?

Who is too busy counting freakin' calories and slowly killing themselves to put the time, energy, and the investment into what is REALLY important? Who doesn't work and has no obligations to speak of (other than the obligation to not eat) and laments constantly how much she misses her grandkids yet NEVER does anything about it??

It was never normal for me so I don't know why it is I expect it to be normal for my kids. I want it more for my kids than I ever wanted it for myself and it's not going to be that way.

I know it. I've known it.

Why the hell does it hurt it so much more when it happens to my kids?

Not that even matters. We're better off. Says Susie.

Oh, and for the record, my phone never rang.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's why it hurts so much, Amanda.
"Making a decision to have a child- it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
Elizabeth Stone

Because children can remind us of our own childhood hurts and we as parents fight to not let that happen to them. When it does, you have your own hurt(and it does not matter how well you have accepted the past and dealt with it, moved on etc. blah blah blah, because it NOW involves 2 other people: Gavin and Grace!!! But also YOU are the one stuck reliving it again with your kids... not the one causing it. Your mom is tucked away in WVA not having to face her grandchildren when they are old enough to understand... Sorry, i have experience in the discarded grandkid department for different reasons. Just remember, "Friends are the family you choose for yourself." -Jane Adams

12:22 AM  
Blogger karrie said...

Fuck her.

That said, my mom is really weird about driving far from her home. We always make the 2.5 hour drive north and *never* the other way around. She's great about sending packages and calling though, so I just view it as a bizarre quirk of hers. She's been like that for years .

7:07 AM  
Blogger Abby said...

Yea, what Karrie said.


8:09 AM  
Blogger Ally said...

I know, I know...I know. I do. I know. Non-bbc/cyberspace, real, Hug.

8:13 AM  
Anonymous Jill said...

so sorry.

3:03 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...


Really, thanks A LOT.

9:03 PM  

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