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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

What am I?

Partly inspired by Karrie's post (which was inspired by Thordora's post, I have been wondering "what kind of mommy blogger am I"?

I have thought about this many times before- especially in the wake of Blogher- and I always draw a complete and total blank. I've started and deleted entry after entry devoted to this subject and I just hit wall after wall after wall. Obviously I am not a blogger by trade and I'm not in it to make any kind of money; but I am very, very passionate about it and I devote a fair amount of my free time (read: the hours between 9 and 11 pm when I should be sleeping or at least cleaning house) to blogging and reading other blogs.

I figure when my blogging is all said and I done I will have at the very least entertained and at the very most provided my children with candid snapshots of my take on their childhood.

So, what am I? I figure you- the reader- might know.

Of course, not that what kind of mommy blogger I am really matters. I'm a mom who enjoys blogging and that's 'nuff for me.


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Blogger Pregnant In Texas said...

I like the gauchos-wearing-mother label that Karrie gave you over on her blog.

Yes, you are cute (sorry if I freaked you out with my e-mail btw), and you do wear capris, but I'm neither of those things and I can often relate to your experience of motherhood, especially the parts that suck it hard.

There is a whole other piece that we are missing here in that blogging, itself, has become a class barrier. It is only those with time, access to a computer and the internet, and knowledge of those tools can determine how they define their own experiences for the world to interpret.

This phenomenon has gone largely unnoticed, or uncommented on, because so many of us that participate are the same; we may have differnt Mommy labels, yet we are predominantly well-educated, middle-to-upper class women.

I saw let's start looking at that before we try to compartmentalize ourselves into smaller sub-categories without even realizing that we are already a category onto ourselves.

Sorry for hijacking this comment section, Amanda. I might have to go and write a post about this now!!

You rock :)

10:59 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

No, you didn't freak me out with your e-mail. I just suck at returning e-mails! I have been meaning to write a post about how I lost the 40 pounds thanks to you asking me who I did it. Hopefully I'll get around to it this weekend.

You bring up some excellent points regarding education, SES, and ability which only add to my whole "not getting" the classes of mommy bloggers.

All that aside, we were all someone before we were moms. I'm sure that when we were those "someones" we were just as varied as we are now and even then people tried to compartmentalize us (a la The Breakfast Club... the jock, the geek, the princess, etc...). I don't know about you all but no one- myself included- ever got it right.

I would like to see motherhood as something that brought women together- not something that continues to drive us apart (feel free to start singing Kumbayah). Hell, it's a blogosphere not Saturday school in our high school's library.

1:05 PM  
Blogger karrie said...

Pregnant in texas--you make an excellent point abt SES. I have written about my previous experience with poverty, but thankfully I do not know first hand what its like to be a really broke mama.

Most of my family is still poor, but I feel uncomfortable writing about situations I know my sister's have experienced as mothers. If either of them decide to start a blog, I'll be sure to link.

I also think that my poor, rural upbringing contributes to my sense of watching these two dominant blogger groups, and feeling like I'm not really represented.

1:44 PM  
Blogger karrie said...

Amanda: There is something I'm trying to say that I think you do not understand. I'm not trying to drive a wedge between mothers. I'm standing up and saying there needs to be more diversity.

I've gone back and read blogs like Dooce--which I know you love-- a second, third or fourth time, because so many people do relate to those blogs, but I frequently come away saying "I just do not get it." And not "getting it" is one more way I feel as though I'm "weird", or not the norm.

In general, mommy-bloggers are not writing a whole lot that I can relate to beyond the occasiona "Oh yeah. You have a crazy 2 (3, 4, 5) year-old too."

One last comment on the hip/cute thing that I said on my blog and want to repeat here: its what hits you in the face when you visit a URL. Not unlike those glittery, blinking sigs posters on bb use. And with a blog, if you're turned off, most of us do not have the motivation to return. Unlike a bb where you can move beyond a shimmery, purple unicorn and get to know a bit more bout the person behind the front. :)

1:53 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

I never thought you were trying to drive a wedge, Karrie... unless of course you are talking about Viva el Gauchos versus the Gauchists because then you are driving the biggest, fattest wedge of them all. :) Speaking of wedge, I am wearing my brown espadrille wedges today and they are bee-yoo-ti-ful. You don't hate wedges, too, do you?

On the Dooce front, I wouldn't say I "relate to her". I think her writing is good and she makes me laugh but post partum depression, unable to breastfeed due to meds, and inability to poop aside, I really don't have anything in common with Dooce nor do I find her "relatable". Hell, I hate my dog and I wouldn't allow a pop tart to touch my child with a ten-foot pole. I couldn't be more different than Dooce (Heather) but I still think her blog is a good read.

What turns me on the most to a blog- to people- (besides wearing gauchos) is when people are out there letting their flag fly. No matter what that flag is- weird, freak, cute, hip, whatever- if they are being who they are (or at least coming across that way to me... hard to tell online) and they can put it down in cyberspace in a manner I can comprehend (sorry French mommybloggers) then that is what makes me read a blog.

Anyone know where I can find a purple, shimmery unicorn to post in my template?

2:31 PM  
Blogger karrie said...

No, I love a good wedgie. ;)

I just threw poor, battered Dooce out there as an example. Technically, I think she's a very good writer. But something about the entries I've read, aside from the letters to her daughter, just turns me off.

I'm not sure if it shimmers, but now that I think about it, someone on FCD actually has a unicorn as her avatar.

2:49 PM  
Blogger Pregnant In Texas said...

I'm with both of you when I say, "LET YOUR FREAK FLAGS FLY HIGH"! By blogging, we are all saying, in some way or another, "I have something unique and individual to contribute to this discourse. You will find something about my life, my humor, my pain, or my experiences interesting to you."

It's hard, though, when self-censorship causes individuals (Mommy's, for this discussion) to limit what they write out of fear of being different from the norm. When I was on WIC and applying for food stamps, I never hid it on my blog, but I never really discussed it either (besides that awful WIC breast pump experience that caused me to stop breastfeeding earlier than I had wanted).

On a subconscious level, all bloggers are expressing their individuality, but on a conscious level, many of the differences, that could be the most interesting, are being repressed. I see Amanda's point about not wanted motherhood to divide women, but it won't as long as those participating in the group are open to the diversity of opinions and experiences.

3:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK, the gauchos need to stop. I'm getting some unpleasant gaucho images that revolve around flags, horses and my SIL.

It's not necessarily about shunting women into smaller and smaller boxes-it's like Karrie says-it's about finding people who you can relate to, who are you. I shake my head at the constant Dooce links because I don't get it either-she's a good writer, and sometimes I've been amused, but I just don't get into her. I don't feel her perspective, and I have trouble believing some many people do. I question blind hero worship, which at times in the "blogosphere", there feels to be a lot of.

And I don't know if I necessarily WANT all mothers who blog (I cannot use that other word) to hold hands and talk about puppies. Who we identify with is some way is what we are. And I'd like to see those "categories" expanded to include those of us who aren't necessarily relating to what's out there. Cause we know it's there, even if we don't want it to be.

Currently, those of us "outside" don't identify together-and I'd like us to do so-regardless of the term.

Sorry for the rambling. I've been interested in watching where this leads.


5:11 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Thanks for posting, Thordora.

***And I'd like to see those "categories" expanded to include those of us who aren't necessarily relating to what's out there. Cause we know it's there, even if we don't want it to be.***

The categories are there even if we don't want them to be? Maybe the reason I don't "get" the notion of categories is because I am blissfully ignorant to all tat is in the blogosphere. Oblivious is my middle name.

Only with the recent hub-bub over Blogher and that Discussing Dooce site did I see some of the underbelly of mommy blogging. There are some ferocious claws under those french-manicured acrylic nails!

***Currently, those of us "outside" don't identify together-and I'd like us to do so-regardless of the term.***

Whether it be in real life or in the blogosphere, I think we all want to find people we relate to. It's human nature.

FWIW, after Gavin was born I wanted to jump in front of a bus and I'm lonely all the time.

7:11 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

I don't think of myself as a "mommy blogger" altough that's what i write alot about right now because Joshua takes up 99.9% of my life. But I refuse to put on my blog everytime he farts and learns how to flip me off. Ok, the flipping me off will stay.

I write about my life, my experiences and my fears. I hope people can relate and if not relate, then come away with a little more experience to help someone else.

People who I read crack me up, make me laugh, *cough wear gauchos cough* and talk about walking out the bathroom with toilet paper on their feet.

The whole SES and higher education catagories turn me off, because that's a label that most people don't look past if you don't pass the test of what they think is good enough. And I don't have time for those people.

Interesting topic Amanda.

11:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know Melissa-I'm always up for farting posts.. :)

I'd love it if we could all just get along, I really do. But it's the undercurrent of mean nasty that makes me want to have my own peeps to get my back I guess.

And frankly, I'm lazy. Categories make it easier to avoid what I don't like and find what I do. Although I make a point of moving outside my comfort zone.

But hey, we're all talking now, and that's cool.

And I relate to the bus more than you know. Sucks doesn't it. Hope you're ok now... :)


9:16 AM  

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