And here I thought Goose pooping in the potty was my Mother's Day miracle

A letter I received via FlickrMail:

Amanda, I feel so strange writing this e mail, but I finally got a minute to send you this and I feel compelled by your last photo. My name is *****, I live in ******** **, but I was in MN when I discovered you. I found your blog one night while I googled "SSRI's" and "breastmilk". You had made a comment that Goose likes her breastmilk spiked with ssri's on another persons blog and, well the rest is history. I followed your blog and then over to flickr 365 because I, like you, am a mommy of two little people and feel crazy love for my kids and then just plain crazy at times. Nicholas is 3 and Elliott just turned one and it has been less than easy for me. (Obviously, check the ssri reference) I have looked to your blog and flickr photos when I felt like motherhood was going to drown me and no one would jump in to save me. I have a great partner who is a great daddy, like your hubby, and from the outside I am sure that I look like I have the perfect life, but this chaos inside that I a facing is scarier than anything I have ever done. I read your "homeostasis" entry and burst into tears.
I just wanted you to know that you are so brave. Brave for putting a piece of you out into the world. Brave for having babies and raising them the way you do. Brave for going to work everyday and helping people. I don't even know you but I have to say as another mommy, I am so proud of what you have given to other people with your photos and words.
Homeostasis can be an elusive state to achieve and with all of the chaos we deal with everyday, it's amazing that anyone ever really settles down and has time to just "be", let alone "just be happy". I trust your judgement to leave the pressure of performance that 365 must be, please know however that you touched many peoples lives, but speaking for me, you touched mine. Sometimes we forget that it is not only the large, loud, spectacles of heroism that make changes, but the small, selfless, brave acts of integrity that are heroic as well.
Your kindness, slightly self-depricating humor, unabashed love for your kids and your penchant for quoting song lyrics made my days brighter, and I wanted you to know. I have a song that makes me feel better when my chaos takes over and perhaps it would make you smile as well, if not at least to know there are other people out there who have been unsettled and overwhelmed. It's "grey" by Ani DiFranco.
I hope that you "find your paradise", thanks you for making me smile, *****
ps. Oh, and thanks for recommending the "fridge DJ", we totally rock out to Annie-Ooh on a daily basis. Leapfrog is a much better teacher then I will ever be. :)



It made me cry. The good kind of cry, though.

365 days was a crazy, crazy experience. I really hated quitting not just because I HATE quitting but also because it is so, so amazing when people like ***** see my pictures and "get" me.

It's nice to be gotten.

Since becoming a mom, I don't feel "gotten" very often.

I haven't addressed it here but I'm sure many of you know that I left 365 days on day 153 because it was causing a lot of heartache at home. It took up a good chunk of time and I was sharing more of "me" with people online that I was at home or in real life. You can only imagine the kinds of problems that can cause.

It's nice that some good came out if it.