What's the opposite of mensa

My homeowner's association!

For the past year or so, my neighbors have been trying to organize a homeowner's association. It has been excruciating to watch. I have attended only a handful of meetings and more often than not, I pretend to not be at home when the come knocking on my door to ask me to sign this petition or vote for this or that member. My pretending to not be at home is fairly humorous since Gavin is usually screeching at the window and Grace has usually managed to pull herself up on the windowsill to wave at them like she is a homecoming queen on a float. I'm just thankful no one has called CPS for child endangerment from me leaving the kids home alone.

I don't live in a fancy neghborhood by any stretch yet they are asking for $200 annually in homeowner fees. For what? It is a subdivision of about 100 or so "starter homes" priced anywhere from $100,000-$175,000. We don't share any common ground- no pool, tennis courts, playground, etc...- aside from a brick sign at the entrance and the landscaped areas around the perimeter of the subdivision. Our neighborhood is in the city limits so the city is responsible for pretty much all the maintenance of streets, lights, sewage, and all the stuff. I really don't even understand why we need a homeowner's association except for what is commonly referred to as argument A-Z for why we need a homeowner's association:

The Rednecks

There is one family who keeps about 3 run down trucks on their front lawn, landscape with rocks, keep their cats outside so they can breed and breed and breed (they're on their third litter in one year), built a pool in their backyard that- until it was blown down during a storm last week- hung haphazardly over a hill and has remained incomplete for two years, and the worst offense of all: they cut their daughter's hair in a mullet. Any time anyone says "why the hell do we need to pay $200 a year for a homeowners" the answer is "you do know the rednecks, don't you? You don't want more people to do what they've done." It's true. I don't want a neighborhood of rednecks (although living in SC the odds are not in my favor) but how many people in on neighborhood are really going to live like that and do we really need to spend $200,000 annually just to make one family of rednecks denounce their rednecks ways and put their cats inside, take their trucks to a dump, run a lawn mower, and for the love of God, have some mercy on the dear child and cut her hair?

Apparently the anti-redneck argument A-Z worked because last Thursday night we voted to approve the by-laws and the move forward with the homeowners. I was in favor of the homeowners because yes, I do have a deep-seeded fear of rednecks and I figure I can sell a couple gallons of breastmilk to make dues but there is one man in the neighborhood who was vehemently opposed to the homeowner's and for the past few months has launched a counter-attack to the proposed homeowners. He is old and retired so dude has a lot of free time. He made up fliers and recruited other people in our neighbohood to help spread the word of the homeowner's conspiracy. I'm not really sure what the conspiracy was as the one time I did open the door it was an Indian woman with a thick accent and I'm really not sure if she was talking about the anti-homeowners conspiracy or trying to sell me Encyclopedias. All I know is dude made A LOT of people angry and when he tried to get up and speak at the meeting people started booing and screaming names at him. A little old lady in front of me even bellowed "JERK" with all her old lady might. Apparently the retirees in our neighborhood are not a united front.

I have to say that I was appalled. I almost stood up and took the mic but Grace picked that time to puke all over me and it gave me the time I needed to collect myself. Spoiled, regurgitated breastmilk really helps to center the soul. I just can't believe a room full of adults were yelling names at another adult just because of a homeowner's association. I mean, people please. Maybe it's the Libra in me or perhaps the fact that since I have become a mom I look at everyone as being somebody's child and how would their mama want them to be treated, but I really cannot tolerate behavior such as that. I looked around at the room and the only people not hollering names were the rednecks. Tha night everyone in the room became the rednecks to me... except the rednecks. Manicured lawns be damned.

I was walking with the kids last night and I bumped into one of the board members and she asked me how I felt about the meeting. I told her that it was one of the ugliest displays of behavior I have seen since high school and that I wanted no active role in the homeowner's association as I can't surround myself with people like that. Sheepishly, said that she was one of the ones yelling names and I told her I know. She said that my views were very noble but I didn't know half of what the old dude had been doing around the neighborhood in an attempt to stop the homeowners. I told her that I was going to tell her what I tell my children "two wrongs do not make a right" and I walked away. Noble my ass. Those people need to spend a little time on Sesame Street and learn how to treat their neighbors. Officially a mom moment when you realize that you treat people the way you teach and want your children to treat people because that is the only way to make change.