Day 12: What Not To ExpectPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting

When you get that notion, put your backfield in motion

Officially a Mom

Putting that Backfield in Motion since 2003

Monday, November 28, 2005

One of the Nicest Things Someone Ever Did For Me

Let me tell you all a story about Nikki G in honor of her birthday that just so happens to be the story of one of the nicest things someone ever did for me.

As you all know waaaaaaaaayyyyyy back in the spring of 2002 when I could talk about things other than boobs and sleep, I began the process of divorce from my first husband. Long story very short, it was a rough time for me. Especially seeing as how I was suddenly single in a new hole-in-the-wall town in a family-oriented subdivision and although I had lived in South Carolina for 3 years, I had spent most of my time up until then going to work and working out and I had no friends nearby. None. Nada. Zip. I had pretty much painted myself into a corner. A lonely, sad little corner.

I was at work one Thursday evening- working late because I didn't want to be alone- and I called Nikki G (who was living in NYC at the time) in what can only be described as a state of panic. I don't remember all the details of our conversation but what I do know is that Nicole hung up the phone with me and booked a flight to Greenville-Spartanburg airport for the very next day. Booked a flight. For the very next day.

I remember picking her up at the airport and she had purple hair and was wearing a teeny tank top with Biggie Smalls on one boob and Tupac on the other boob (told you all I can talk about is boobs) and she was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. It was like she was an angel who had descended from the thugz mansion in the sky. We immediately drove to Waffle House and dined on fried food and proceeded to spend the weekend drinking coffee, eating pizza and donuts, coloring our hair, going to church, and talking. We talked a lot that weekend. Actually, I probably did a lot of talking and she did a lot of listening. I do know that Saturday night I fell asleep on the couch with her hugging me. I miss Nikki.

I know I thanked Nicole for that weekend but how do you really thank someone for something like that? How do you thank someone being that person. That person who 50 years from now you will think of as doing something so kind and so wonderful and made you feel loved even when you didn't love yourself. I don't know if I'm the kind of friend who deserves that kind of friendship but I do thank God for her. I think about what she did for me all the time and in the immortal of words of Wayne and Garth, I am not worthy ;)

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Happy Birthday Nikkidoll!!!

I love you!

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Sunday, November 27, 2005

My Life..... in Cartoons

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Speaking of Ch-ch-ch Changes.....

Ok. So this blog has been on an itsy bitsy hiatus for the past 5 months. Life has been a little bit crazy since Gracezilla has been born. Mothering an exclusively breastfed infant and an extremely high needs, now sensory disordered and speech delayed two year old while working full time, taking care of a marriage and volunteering time on Babycenter has left me with zero time for anything else. Besides, since Grace has been born there are only two things I can talk about with zeal-

1. boobs
2. sleep

I didn't figure you all wanted to hear about my boobs (or did you, you freaky internet you) or the fact that I would give my left boob for some sleep. Sleep. Ahhhhh, sleep. The elusive slumber that escapes me night after night after night. Why don't I sleep? Please see #1 which brings me to the only other thing I can talk about besides sleep. Boobs. Basically it goes a little something like this. I have boobs. Baby wants boobs. ALL. NIGHT. LONG. I don't sleep.

Part of being a working, breastfeeding mom and abandoning my daughter for 9 hours a day means that I am taking away my daughter's only food source and primary source of comfort. To seek revenge she has become a reverse cycler. She takes enough expressed milk in a bottle to get her by when I'm at work and then attaches herself to the boob the minute I get home and will not let go until morning. So, not only am I pumping three times a day at work to keep up my daytime milk supply and provide expressed milk for home in case one day she decides to have mercy upon me and begin eating during the day, I am still breastfeeding 6-8 times a day. My boobs could win the breastfeeding Olympics. We have so much pumped milk we had to buy a deep freezer. Well, it was either the surplus of pumped milk or the $1.oo Totinos pizzas that required us to buy a deep freeze.

So, you are probably asking yourself what does the Gavinator do while I breastfeeding nonstop and organize pumped milk in the freezer. He watches tv. Yep, I am officially that mom now. I went from tv is evil and my child will only watch an hour a day to "Dear God child, go let the tv raise you like a good little boy". On the brightside, he now goes to speech therapy and physical therapy twice a week to address his speech delay and sensory issues (I stand corrected, my son was never possessed by demons, he is just unable to organize his senses giving the appearance of a demonic possession) so his therpists are offering the human parenting that I am unable to give. What do I do while he is at the therapists? Well, when I'm not working, I am there breastfeeding Grace wishing I was asleep.

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