Shape of this mother
I'm sure by now most of us have read about the new blog heard around the blogosphere: The Shape of a Mother. I believe the blog owner said she got over 2,000 hits in one day and I know links to the site have been burning up threads all over Babycenter. I even blogrolled the site and I believe that Karrie sent in pictures.
I am oddly fascinated with the site. I have had some body image issues over the course of my life. Something I have referred to as reverse anorexia. When I was skinny I thought I was fat and when I was fat, I thought I was skinny. Ok, well not exactly, but I seemed to worry about my weight the most when I had no reason to worry and I didn't have a care in the world related to the extra 40 pounds I carried in college for several years. Of course, the massive quantities of alcohol I consumed may have hindered my ability to care.
I'm at a point in my life where I am really enjoying my body (let the dirty jokes commence... I left the door open for that one, didn't I?). I wouldn't mind if I had a few inches gone from the belly region so once and for all I could say farewell to the muffin top but three pregancies and two births in two years is bound to leave a woman slightly muffin-esque. I'm ok with it. Giving birth to kids and nursing them has really given me an "I am woman, hear me roar" kind of attitude. I feel very empowered by my own body and have confidence I never thought I could have. It is a shame that I couldn't have had this confidence when I was younger- one of those "wish I knew then what I know now" moments- but better late than never. Youth really is wasted on the young.
I look at the women on The Shape of a Mother and I truly do think each and every one of them are beautiful. I don't think there is anything as beautiful as a pregnant woman's shape and any body that could grow, give, and sustain life is one to be treasured. I am in awe and I'm really not good enough of a writer to put down on cyberspace how truly awesome I think the women's stories and photos are.
As much as I hate to admit it- and why I think I am fascinated with the site- I feel bad for being so thankful that that's not me. I got away from pregnancy, childbirth and nursing pretty much unscathed. Also, I may feel "I am woman, hear me roar" and all that jive, but how would I feel if pregnancy had left my body way different from how it found it? Would I still have the confidence to share my photos and my story? Would I still feel good about myself? Would I still be at the place in my life where I am truly enjoying my body?
I don't know but I don't think so.
That makes me sad and oddly enough, I am jealous of those women because they have something I don't- and it ain't stretch marks and extra weight.
posted by Amanda. @ 9:45 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
I love your honesty - it's beautiful! Thank you for sharing this link with me.
Hmmm, I have the stretch marks and mommy belly. Two pregnancies and being small ruined me! Not really, but I do have battle scars. I try to accept myself as I am, but it is not always easy, is it?
Amanda, I do not see a muffin top. I think it must be blamed on....GAUCHOS!
(beating it into the ground with a stick.)
It has been a long road accepting my whacked out stomach. I take heart in the fact that it looks better now, (scary!) and that I;m finally able to stuff it into normal jeans. I cried a lot in those early post-partum months. A lot. It was really difficult for me to look at all of the people sharing pictures of themselves holding their babies, or celebrating holidays with families. I hid behind my cute kid and only shared face shots and hoped no one would say anything cruel. I avoided social events where I would run into people who I had not seen since early in my pregnancy.
Basically it came down to feeling abd and obsessing over something I could not change without major surgery, or accepting it and moving on. I think if the Gs had left crazy marks all over your skin, you would have enetually found that place as well.
I definitely have battle scars- but they're mostly mental ;)
Thanks for taking the time to read the post, ZB, and I'm glad you enjoyed the site Melissa.
Karrie, you leave my ultra-cool and fabulous gauchos out of this! You're right about one thing, I guess I would have eventually found comfort- serenity- somehow. I know the website has definitely given me the opportunity to think about about my body in a different way. Even if pregnancy, childbirth, and nursing gave it to me pretty easy; I still have time to contend with.
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