When you hate your family

Not the Goose or the Gavinator or the husband; but other family. Anyone have close family (not close in proximity but close in terms of relation.... a brother, for example) that you have just shut out of your life completely to spare any further hurt feelings and/or complete and total bullshit in your life? I'm doing it and I'm not proud of it but I'm starting today. I just don't see why because someone is a sibling I should have to be friendly with them or even have any sort of relationship with them when the fact is, I DON'T WANNA!! I have done it over the years because I do value family but what I value is not necessarily MY family but the idea of what I think family should be and what I hoped mine would one day become. I also want to set a good example for my children by being a good daughter/sibling/wife because my kids are- or one day will be- all of the above (or close to it... son/sibling/husband) and I feel they will learn by watching me. The thought of Gavin and Grace not growing up and being friends breaks my heart.

I can't do it anymore, though. It is long and complicated and I'm not about to get into it here but I'm exhausted by putting forth what I feel to be a tremendous effort to only be trashed, ridiculed, and told I'm a waste of time. And really, the events of the past week or so are not even dramatic enough to deserve such trash-talking or insults but so they have come to be and for what reasons I don't even know. The emotional toll of caring about a person, albeit if only by obligation and pursuit of a family unit to be presented as an example to my own children, is great and I have enough on my plate. I believe that putting to bed the idea of a family I would like to show to my children is a small sacrifice to be able to take care of my own family in the present without emotional baggage.

I'm not a bad person. I might become one if I try to be a good sister. Game over.