BFF

My best friend called me to wish me a happy birthday and in one conversation....

Me: Is it wrong to hate your kids?
Peggy: No. No, it's not.... at least that is what my therapist tells me.


Peggy (yelling at her husband): Jon... JON!!!!!!! You are on the kid!!!!
Jon (muffled in the background with child crying): I'm not ON the kid, the kid is UNDER me!!!!


Me: Alright, I gotta go. I have to put these kids down so I can have a drink.
Peggy: Amanda!!!
Me: What? Like you don't drink after the kids are in bed!
Peggy: Well, yeah, sure, but I usually don't go telling friends about it. I save that information for the folks at AA.