Day 12: What Not To ExpectPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting

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Putting that Backfield in Motion since 2003

Thursday, September 28, 2006

hoohah hurt

I just got back from having an LETZ procedure.

Good times.

Since I'm sensitive to ephedrine, it was decided to use a different kind of anesthesia since, you know, having your cervix burned off tends to be slightly on the painful side and you really need some type of anesthesia. This didn't go quite as planned for two reasons:

1. The friggin' anesthesia without ephedrine doesn't freakin' work. It should have been called crapinaneedlethathurtslikehellwheninjectedandthendoesnotdoadamnthingelse-esia.

2. Ephedrine causes the blood vessels to constrict (and thus serves a dual role in the procedure). You know what happens when your blood vessels don't constrict and someone is burning your cervix off? You bleed all over the freakin' place. But that's not all. In a cruel twist of fate, excess bleeding causes them to burn your cervix off even more in an attempt to stop the blood flow but hello, burning off your cervix causes you to bleed!!

I'm still trying to work that one out. Anyone with a medical degree in whatthefuck care to help me out?

Anyhoo, a procedure that usually takes less than 30 minutes took over an hour. I was flat on my back with legs in stirrups, writhing and screaming in pain while squeezing the examining table with my hands and clenching my butt together so hard that when it was time for me to stand up (after they cleaned up all my blood from the floor (yes, there was blood on the floor... because they wouldn't stop burning my cervix off!!!!!!!!) I could barely walk because they burned my cervix off for over an hour!

Love Thursday my ass. This here is burn your cervix off without pain meds while you bleed all over the floor Thursday.

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9 Comments:

Blogger Wendy said...

I just wanted to drop in and say, Sorry. God, I feel so bad for you. Hopefully, it is not still painful.

Again, sorry.

dlfomsji

5:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG, AMnada! Ok, how about this: YOur hubby watches the kids tomorrow and I stroll YOU to my house and we partake of a nice bottle of Chard!?! My treat:)

XOXO,
Heather

9:04 PM  
Anonymous Jennifer said...

Holy coochiemama! That does NOT sound like something I'd want to do for fun. Hope your whoopie heals quick.

12:58 AM  
Blogger karrie said...

Officially in pain reading this post. I'm so sorry. :(

6:51 AM  
Blogger Abby said...

Oh Amanda. I am so sorry. On the one hand I am glad they took this precaution. My sister had cervical cancer. Not cool. On the other hand I am sorry you had to experience this pain. I will keep in you in my thoughts (and prayers) that you start to feel better soon and that this is the only abnormal PAP you EVER have. Take care.

8:06 AM  
Blogger Linka72 said...

Ouch!!
And wouldn't this be the time that your other half wants to "get some"?? I have a tilted cervix which makes pretty much any gyno exam hurt like a sonofabitch. My other half always seems "frisky" after I get home from one of said visits...I swear some men have NO clue..thanks for letting me rant

12:43 PM  
Blogger Judy said...

Oh, Amanda.

I've survived 2 LEEPs - one at the ripe old age of 18, and another shortly after getting married. Though nothing like the agony you describe, I do know THEY SUCK, and feel for you. It is assuredly better than the alternative (death by cervical cancer).

I'm raising my glass (okay, cup of coffee - it's only noon) to those who created the vaccine, so our daughters don't have to go through this.

1:49 PM  
Anonymous Kelly said...

Ouch. Hope you heal fast. Have a few beverages. heck, put on the gauchos if they make you feel better!

2:04 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

I've had two of the LEEP procedures, but I can't be put under for awhile, so they put a shot on my, well, you know. Not fun. But it gets better. And yes, thank God for the vaccine.

3:26 AM  

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