My Garden

Comes The Dawn

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul,
and you learn that
love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security,
and you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises,
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up
and your eyes ahead,
with the grace of a woman,
not the grief of a child,
and you learn to build all of your roads
on today because tomorrow's ground
is too uncertain for plans,
and futures have a way of
falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that
even sunshine burns
if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that
you really can endure...
That you really do have worth.
And you learn and you learn...
With every goodbye you learn.
by Veronica A. Shoffstall


This poem was given to me after the end of a two year relationship. Not unlike many other forlorn, broken-hearted freshman who came before and after me, I found solace in its words.

While I'm now a grown woman nursing a child rather than a teenager nursing a broken heart, part of this poem still resonates with me today:

So you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.

I struggle with planting my own garden... I struggle with decorating my own soul.

I have all the love and time- all the everything- in the world to give to my kids... my husband... my friends... my family... but myself? Notsomuch.

Not only do I not give, I somehow manage to take away.

I don't doubt this is true for many mothers. We spend all of our time nurturing others that sometimes, we forget ourselves.

We are all so hard on ourselves.

So for this Love Thursday, I want to show some love for me... FOR US.

Besides, without a garden of our own, how will we continue to give flowers?






Happy Love Thursday.