Need backup

One million dollars to the first person who brings me the hugest (grande, tall, verdi, azul???? Why do they give coffee drinks such stupid ass size names?) white chocolate mocha that Starbucks sells. Extra shot of expresso and whipped cream, please.

I was up all night getting puked on by the Goose. Even when she did sleep it was hard for me to sleep curled up next to someone all crusty and stinky with puke. Yes, I cleaned her off but it was everywhere and dude, it lingers!!!

Yummmm! Crusty, stinky AND lingering. Hey, at least I didn't take pictures.

Hmmmmm, and here I thought college didn't prepare me for parenthood.