The winner is....
The winner is….
The black dress.
But only by default.
I really want to wear the green dress. It’s so, so, so pretty and frilly that it makes me feel like prancing about in ballet slippers while singing songs about ovaries and menstruation and osteoporosis.
It’s that feminine.
I raced home from work yesterday to try it on with a padded bra but not only does the padded bra give the illusion of super-fake, rounded fun bags; the type of bra necessary to give me the illusion of anything in the chestal region and fill the dress out is so big and bulky that it totally peeps out of the top of the dress. When I tried it on with a less padded bra, I didn’t fill the dress out and the bra still peeped out of the top of the dress.
Sigh. I do love the green dress so much that I’m tempted to let the A-team hang loose but the reality is I do hope to be promoted to director one day and I don’t think that showing up at company functions looking like an underdeveloped version of this (sans crazy rastafarian cap and stained t-shirt, of course) is going to do much to help my cause.
Thank your comments! Maybe if I knew what a whip stitch was or where a fabric store was even located in my town things would be different but hey, one out of two lesbians can’t be wrong.
Labels: musings, Working mom
posted by Amanda. @ 8:26 AM
10 comments
10 Comments:
Well, since you aren't wearing it, I will send you my address and I expect to get that green dress in the mail ASAP. Just kidding. Sort of.
So disappointed.....what a sad day.
if it were my dress, I would totally let you borrow it.
I'm sorry, Abby. My office mate is disappointed, too. She just told me to go get some boob tape and wear the green dress.
Do they really make boob tape?
Yes, they make boob tape.
You can tape them up. Seriously.
Solution: costume change mid-evening! That way we can ALL be happy!
Sorry I did not cast my vote but I had internet issues the past few days. Damn you Cox Cable! Anyway, the black dress is very pretty on you.
I was going to post about boob tape. Give it a whirl!
Don't take this the wrong way, but the green dress made you look bigger than you are. It is also a summer style and colour, and is inappropriate for winter wear. The black looks fabulous and draws the focus to your lovely face and pretty smile. I'm sure the hunky guy with you in prior photo would agree. If you hate the neckline, pull out the black neck loop and string it over each shoulder a la Marilyn Monroe. If you must wear the green dress, do it with confidence and style, but remember nobody forgets a swinging boob, or being exposed like Janet Jackson at the superbowl. If it were your husband's work, you would have to totally go all out and let 'em hang just to make all his co-workers jealous. Good luck and thanks for the HUGE laugh by linking to those brittney spears photos. I also like your writing style and have NO idea how i even came across your blog, but happy i did.
Thanks, anon! I'm glad you found the blog, too. You have given me my new mantra: Nobody forgets a swinging boob.
Oh and you're right, hunky prefers the black.
Looked for boob tape at several department stores and it was a no go. The sales associates looked at me like I asked for a butt plug or something. I didn't go to VS because I wasn't in the mood to go to the mall.
Yay! The black dress is so flattering on you, Amanda.
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