Show me the Show me State

Finally I am kind of sort of caught up enough to attempt to make a halfway decent attempt to blog about my trip to Kansas City.

First of all, I must say that if you are planning any air travel in the near future you must- YOU. MUST- take a breast pump along with you as a carry on.

Formula feeding? No children? No breasts?

No matter.

One has not lived until they have taken a breast pump through a TSA check point. There is nothing like saying goodbye to your children, fighting back a sea of tears, and standing in your socked feet as a wand is waved around your body while a TSA agent- upon viewing the innards of your Pump In Style on the x-ray machine thingy- yells out “I need a bag check… I need a bag check NOW” and “Ma’am! What is THIS!?!”

“It’s a breast pump.”

Even through the squiggly, blurry, wet vision brought about by my tearful good bye, I could see that all eyes immediately went to my chest. The TSA agent who had to perform some sort of test on my pump made small talk with me by saying “you certainly don’t look like you have any kids” Too which I told him “yeah, well, breastfeeding burns calories... and it didn’t make my boobs any bigger.” The businessman behind me snickered while the agent blushed.

Speaking of tearful goodbyes, I tried with all my might to not cry when I said goodbye to the kiddos. I’m not really comfortable with crying in public places but mostly I didn’t want to cry because since the airport is the husband’s place of work, I was worried I would embarrass him if I turned our farewell into a blubberfest.

After Gavin hugged me and gave me a wet, sloppy kiss directly on my mouth and Grace pressed her body close to mine and nuzzled my neck while pleading “nusss, nussss, nussss”, I could barely contain my tears. I turned to the husband and told him that I thought I was going to cry and that I was sorry. He told me that it wouldn’t be the first time somebody cried at the airport and it happens “more than you know.” That’s all he had to say for the tears to start flowing and I made my way through security boo hooing the whole way.

The flight to Atlanta was short and sweet and I had several hours to kill at the Atlanta airport thanks in part to a layover and later to an hour and half delay due to the heavy rain in the southeast. I passed the time sipping chai tea and reading Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz. It was one of the millions of books the husband has brought home after cleaning out the airplanes at work. I don’t believe I have read a Dean Koontz novel but I enjoyed it. Finally I had enough of my goody-two-shoes-tea-drinking-page-turning ways and I hit the bar.

One of the perks of being a female traveler (besides being viewed positively for using a business trip as a vacation) is that 99% of business travelers are males- male who are more than willing spare a couple bucks to buy one, two, even three beer for a lonely female traveler.

Sure, I had to listen as one traveler bemoaned in a British accent (an accent that I cannot say in any certain terms was actually authentic) about the cheating ways of his ex-wife and the challenges of being an older bachelor with a convertible and sole ownership of several clubs in Fort Lauderdale and then listen again as several other travelers tried to convince me they were starting players for the Seattle Seahawks and they were on their way to Kansas City for their game against the Chiefs the next night. Those guys were maybe 5’10”, 180 pounds and they topped their Seahawks jerseys with Greek letter emblazoned baseball caps and while I’m sure the odds were greater that I was sitting next to Ghandi than the Seattle Seahawks, I just nodded, smiled, and raised my glass in honor of the Hawks and sipped my free beer.

Once in Kansas City, I discovered that my hotel was in a lovely part of town known as the Country Club Plaza. Fabulous shopping and yummy dining were a short walk from my down-covered queen sized bed. The class let out daily at 5:30 and allowed for an hour and a half lunch break so I was able to take advantage of the Plaza every noon and evening.

The class itself was fabulous. Upon the completion of my final test, I will be certified in Childhood and Adolescent Weight Management. The class did serve to enhance my knowledge of the treatment of pediatric overweight but I was happy to discover that really, it did more to reinforce my current knowledge and practices. In other words, I was already da bomb and very shortly, I’ll have a piece of paper to prove it.

Of course what you are all waiting to hear about are my fantabulous meetings with the very lovely Dee and the beautiful Abby. I have read their recounts of our meetings on their blogs and I was quite surprised to see that they were both nervous about meeting me! I was really, really excited about meeting them but being nervous never crossed my mind. Of course, perhaps after three days straight of sitting for 8 hours and being starved into submission (dietetic conferences tend to be light on available food… and by light I mean none) turned off the part of my brain that registers nervousness but it never dawned on me to be nervous. Mostly because I’ve “known” Abby for about three years thanks in part to Babycenter and while I’ve only recently discovered Dee’s blog (thanks NSPIT), I immediately felt like I could relate to her. Besides, even if we met and had nothing in common, we have both been pregnant, had babies (now toddlers), and work outside the home so if all else had failed, a friendly game of “which mommy had it worse” could have served as chit chat.

Come on, you all know every time you are around other moms, it always turns to a game of WMHIW:

“My daughter didn’t start sleeping through the night until 7 months!”

“You think that’s bad? Little Timmy didn’t start sleeping through the night until one year!!!”

“Yeah well, this one time, Susie pooped and it leaked through her diaper and got all over her bouncy seat. It took forever to clean up!”

This is where I pull my trump card… wait for it… wait for it….

“Oh really, try living through THIS!”

(note to readers: don’t even try to go there with me on the WMHIW- poop edition)

Anyhoo, it never came to WMHIW with Dee because the conversation just flowed. She is very cool and her hair is fabulous. I have total hair envy for women with short hair who wear it well. I tried going short once and I looked like a mushroom (actually, I believe my words were “OMG!! I LOOK LIKE A PENIS!!!” but since this is a family blog, I thought I would stick to my other favorite me with short hair analogy- the mushroom).

Now what can I say about Abby? First of all, she is just as funny in person- actually she is MORE funny in person- as she is on the board and she is far more beautiful than any of the pictures of herself she has shared online. We talked and talked and talked and 5 hours went by in the blink of an eye. Girlfriend won my heart by not only making me laugh all night long but also by slamming her body weight in beer in less than 5 hours and nary a wobble in her step to show for it. I nursed a massive hangover the whole way back to South Carolina but apparently what Abby lacks in stature, she more than makes up for in liver function because she was hangover free.

I am truly amazed by the community of mothers not only on boards like Babycenter but also out in the blogosphere. I am thankful that amidst one of the biggest steps of my journey through motherhood- leaving my babes to further my career- I was able to meet two fabulous women. Unfortunately, I will now have to miss both of them but fortunately, I can always read their blogs.

KC and random thoughts

Two weeks from now I'll be landing in Kansas City and I am fuh-reaked out. Not so much because I'm all Nostradamus-like and predicting my demise in a fiery plance crash but because I have never, ever, ever, ever been away from my kiddos longer than an 8-9 hour work day. More importantly, the Goose has never been away from the boobs for longer than an 8-9 hour work day. I plan on bringing my trusty old Pump In Style for one last run to keep my milk supply up and prevent complications from having the boobages out of service for so long (at 15 months, the Goose still nurses 4-8 times a day) but I haven't pumped in 3 months and honestly, I find the idea of hooking myself up to the horns again to be rather daunting.

I pumped three times a day for ten months at work and there was never a pumping session that I didn't have pumping anxiety: will I respond to the pump, will I empty the breastedess, will I throw myself out the window after listening to the monontanous hum of the PIS for 20 minutes, and will I, in my cow-like glory, begin to chew my own curd after unhooking myself from the pump? Pumping still scares the bajeezies out of me and I'm not looking forward to it. I mean, how will the PIS feel about coming out of retirement? Let's take her feelings into account, shall we? I never dreamed when I decided to take this course in Kansas City that I would still be nursing this much and while it is a longshot, I can't help but worry that my absense will force the Goose to wean. I know I shouldn't be worried because she has gotten a ton o' breastmilk and either way it would be all good but I hate the idea of forcing it on her so I can further my career.

A career that strongly advocates breastfeeding yet encourages me to gain continuing education hours and maintain a professional portfolio in my area of expertise while putting the bread and butter (or is that olive oil?) on our table.

I'm also worried about the class. I just received the test booklet a couple weeks ago and the test booket is about as thick as this:



I passed the pretest with flying colors but I still need to complete all the activities, attend the class, and then pass the post-test before I become certified in pediatric and adolescent weight management. Of course you know, even with my certification, I will still need to provide a butt load of links before I make any claims over the Feeding Choices Debate Board. I wouldn't have it any other way, though!

I really hope I get to meet Abby when I'm in Kansas City!!!

I am worried about how the husband will handle my absence. Not that I think he will cry himself to sleep every night wondering why for art did his soul mate have to travel so far but how will he handle the monsters for three days straight with zero assistance? Will Gavin wind up in juvie? Will I come home to find the husband shirtless and rocking back and forth in the corner muutering to himself while Grace sucks on his teet because when push came to shove, she figured out how to induce lactation? Maybe I'm giving myself way to much credit but as someone who is venturing out of town solo with the kiddos tomorrow (and as the only one who has gone anywhere solo with the kids and spent an extended amount of time alone with them), I know how attractive crack cocaine and tequila shots can look after two days straight with the kids and no help. I can't imagine three days straight... and I have the boobs!

Some other random thoughts, has anyone heard The Killers new song? I. Am. Diggin'. It. So much so that it is my new profile song. I tend to try and stay away from popular music; instead opting for the likes of Leatherbag and Imogen Heap but I *heart* (sorry Jill) The Killers' new song.

Speaking of music, I gotta ask this question muy importante: are you a Delilah or a John Tesh Radio Show kind of love song person? We had this discussion at work and I am by far and away a Delilah kind of girl but I was markedly outnumbered by the John Tesh variety of love song addicts. Don't get me wrong, Delilah is so sugary sweet that she makes me want to eat my own vomit but damn if she doesn't have THE PERFECT SONG for every occasion and situation. She is like a lovesong Jedi. You don't beieve me? Test her. Call her up and tell her that your sister just died and you honored her dying wish and donated her organs and her heart was transplanted into a young man who- thanks to your sister- was able to win the gold medal in the Olympic long jump and you would like her to play a song to honor your sister and Delilah will play "Where Does My Heart Beat Now" by Celine Dion. Delilah is THAT good.

Shut up. You know what I'm talking about and you know you're one or the other. We all are.

So tell me, Delilah or John?

Making it work

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week I thought I would share an article I wrote for my company's newsletter:

Whether or not to breastfeed is one of the most important decisions a new mother can make. There is no right or wrong choice but the American Academy of Pediatrics, World Health Organization, and American Dietetic Association recommend breastfeeding as best for babies. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months and that breastfeeding should continue until 12 months (and beyond) if both the mother and baby are willing. The World Health Organization recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months and that breastfeeding should continue for the first 24 months (and beyond) if both mother and baby are willing.

Ample scientific evidence supports the contention that breast-fed babies are less vulnerable to acute infectious diseases, including respiratory and gastrointestinal infections, experts say. Some studies also suggest that breastfed babies are at a lower risk for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and chronic diseases later in life such as asthma, lymphoma, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease. Exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months may even protect against obesity. In addition, women who breastfeed face lower risks of type 2 diabetes, ovarian and breast cancer, and osteoporosis.

Though about 70 percent of new mothers start breast-feeding right after childbirth, just over a third are breast-feeding at 6 months and fewer than 20 percent are exclusively breast-feeding by that time. Those numbers are even lower for working moms. The goal of Healthy People 2010 is for 75 percent of new mothers to start breastfeeding right after childbirth, half to be breastfeeding at 6 months, and 25 percent to be breastfeeding at one year.

For moms who work and wish to continue breastfeeding once their maternity leave is over, breastfeeding presents a whole new set of challenges. Urging women to breastfeed exclusively is a tall order in a country where more than 60 percent of mothers of very young children work, federal law requires large companies to provide only 12 weeks' unpaid maternity leave and lactation leave is unheard of. Studies indicate that women who continue to breastfeed once returning to work miss less time from work because of baby-related illnesses, and have shorter absences when they do miss work, compared with women who do not breastfeed. Even with the substantial benefits to be gleaned by encouraging working mothers to breastfeed, only a third of large companies provide a private, secure area where women can express breast milk during the workday, and only 7 percent offer on-site or near-site child care, according to a 2005 national study of employers by the nonprofit Families and Work Institute.

Working mothers who wish to continue breastfeeding are fortunate here at ----- because our ----- is one of the few employers to provide a private, secure lactation room. If you are an expecting mother who is planning on continuing to breastfeed after you return to work, please speak with your supervisor or ----- ----- regarding your options. Breastfeeding and working can be difficult at times but with the health benefits for mom and baby and the potential cost savings for employers, it is win-win-win for everyone.