Cue Country Roads

Because they're a'takin' me home!

Off to spend a week in the motherland. Happy Blogging!

Until then....

Planning my trip home via e-mail messages

Me- So it's on! Girls night out next Friday! What's the plan?

Emily- Sounds fun! Johnny's out of town next week so that leaves me in a bit of a lurch baby-wise, but I can probably swing by for a drink or two.

"You have a baby...in a bar." - Reese Witherspoon, Sweet Home Alabama

Peggy- I will need to put the boys down before I get down myself. ha. So I can meet everyone a little after 8. Cathy, do you want me to pick you up? Jennifer plans to meet us after 11pm. Where should I meet everyone around 8:30? I will have Jen call me to see where we are at 11pm. Can't wait. Which spit stained shirt should I wear?

Cathy- How does this sound to everyone?? Meet at Vandalia at 8:30. Peggy - yes, you can be my designated driver. Sarah - I will let Mike know about the guy's night in. Amanda & Emily - I realize it's been a while since I've seen either of you, so to let you know who I am, I will carry a red rose. hehe.
Sound cool?

Sarah- Sounds good to me - Peg would you mind picking me up as well

Me- What’s Vandalia? Let me know and I’ll be there. I’ll be the girl at the bar in the black, milk stained shirt, chasing Zoloft with Jager shots while singing if you’re happy and you know it….

Don’t forget, I’m hosting a cookout at my dad’s on Saturday. Be there or be a big, fat loser

Alright, you can stop. I got it.

The big man upstairs just gave me a whopping dose of shut your whiny ass up. A coworker's husband died today. He dropped her off for work and called her to say hello at 2:00 and then at 2:30 he was dead.

Let me just update my list of things to be devastated about:


From the Desk of Amanda
Mom
Gavin's possible diagnosis of ASD
Dead husbands

Hits keep rolling

Gavin had his evaluation with the developmental pediatrician today. Not that we ever saw anyone with MD after their name; the evaluation was performed by a social worker and a nurse. Coincidentally, I used to work with the nurse who performed the eval so I felt a tad but more comfortable flashing her my boobs ten million times, rather than a stranger, while trying to nurse Grace while Grace tried to watch Gavin screaming his head off.

And frickin'-frackin'-son-of-a-motherless-goat, you know they had to bring up the "A" word. For those who don't have a two year old speech delayed boy, the "A" word is autism and my how those in the medical field love to throw it around like candy off a float in a parade. It hurts a hell of a lot worse to get slapped in the face with the word "autism" than with a stale tootsie roll, I can tell you that much. Even though I had prepared myself and I knew they were going to bring it up and I totally knew it was coming, when she asked me if I was "open" to the idea of autism, I felt the tears well up in my eyes and told her yes but I was more "open" to the idea of Gavin being a weird, speech delayed toddler than "autistic". For boys who are speech delayed, the autism diagnosis follows them around like the cloud of dirt behind Pig Pen on the Peanuts.

I swear to God if I actually thought he was autistic I may not get as upset over it but all I want to do is yell "Hello, people, he has half my DNA!! Of course he is weird, screams a lot, and can't talk!! Spend a little time with me and you'll see the apple didn't fall too far from the tree!!!!".

Bad News

Well since this isn't the kind of blog where I go around talking about other people's problems (even when, by association, they become problems) I won't go into any major details but I found out some bad health-related news about my mom last night. Hell, I probably couldn't share the details if I tried because her husband is one of those low talkers and the kids started screaming back and forth at each other the second he started trying to tell me what was up. I was handling the news alright until I looked at Grace... and I mean REALLY looked at Grace. Daughter. Mother. I don't have the words to explain but I got all choked up and overcome with the realization that not only will my mommy not always be here for me, I won't always be here for Grace and suddenly I needed my mommy. But now I'm the mommy. Sigh. Gavin crawled all my lap when he saw me crying and took my face in his hands and said "oh, mommy", which only made me cry harder.

I realized last night that being 30 not only means I'm at the age where I can have a family of my own, it also means I'm at the age where it is not all that uncommon to start losing family. It would hurt regardless of whether or not I had my own kids but they weren't lying when say kids change everything. It certainly seems to be a different and deeper kind of hurt. Like losing a part of the mother in me. I know how hard it can hurt to be faced with losing your mother but I can put myself in her shoes and know how hard it must hurt to be faced with leaving your daughter.

Red letter day

Or is that night? Anyhoo, the Goose set a personal best last night in sleep. She slept from (drum roll please...... no wait, she's still sleeping.... hold the drum roll.... don't make a peep or I'll hunt you down and kill you like the pig you are!!!!!! Sorry.) 8:00 until 3:45!!!!!! That's just shy of 8 hours straight without a Goose on my boob or in my arms. Nothing personal against my sweet little baby girl who during the day I can't get enough of but HALLE-FREAKIN-LUJAH!!!! She did wake up around 11 and fussed for a minute or two but by the time I used the potty and washed my hands she was quiet again and there was no way I was going to risk waking her by peeking in on her.

I'm so sorry Dr. and Martha Sears but cosleeping is for the birds and apparently birds don't need much sleep. I had such mixed emotions about moving her into her own room but now the only emotion I have is joy! We still got our snuggle time from about 4-7 when she nursed nonstop but then I put her back in her room so I could shower and get the Gavinator and she is still sleeping. Apparently I wasn't the only one sleep deprived during our 9 months of trying to make cosleeping work.

All hail the mainstream!

G-mail #9

Hey ya’ll! I’m nine months old! Only three more months until I’m the big 0-1! I can hardly stand it! Mommy rolled over yesterday morning and wished me a happy nine month birthday and told me it was time to get a job. She’s kidding, right? Right? I mean, I’m only nine months old. Unless there is a high demand for baby fat harvesters or poop distributors or adult-waker-uppers then I don’t think I’m qualified for anything. She’s gotta be kidding.

This past month has been good to me. I’m still growing like a weed. A very fat weed, but a weed nonetheless. I can’t crawl yet but I’m trying. I can get on my hands and knees but when I try to move my arms usually slip out from under me and I usually take a header into the carpet or the toy I’m trying to get to. Owie! My forehead is all banged up. If you ask me, I think this crawling stuff is highly overrated. Who wants to crawl when I can butt walk? I love to get around by butt walking. Mommy says I look like I’m on a rowing machine when I do it and I am really, really, really good at it. Sometimes I get going so fast that I catch some air! I can pretty much get to wherever I want to go. Watch out world! Big brother likes to play a game with me where he’ll make me butt walk to a toy and then right when I get to it he moves it and then he’ll let me get to the toy and then he moves it again. He can do this all day. I like chasing him and he likes being chased. Mommy and daddy are happy because it keeps us busy! We like to take it easy on mommy and daddy sometimes. Not all the time, though. We gotta keep ‘em on their toes. If they think this is tough, wait until we’re teenagers. You know what I’m sayin’?








Big brother is still my bestest friend. We have such a good time together. He makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. He does the silliest things like throw blankets over my head and spit all over me. Sometimes he can be really sweet and he’ll bring me toys and let me play with his toys but sometimes not. He is a bit finicky but he is always awesome. He finally has a name for me! He calls me “Baby”! Isn’t that the most precious thing you’ve ever heard? I’m sure he’ll have lots of not so nice names for me as we grow older so I’m enjoying being called “Baby” by my big bro. I have finally moved out of the infant tub into the big person tub and big bro and I even take our baths together. He usually waits to start splashing until I get out of the tub but sometimes he doesn’t. Depends on how tired I am but sometimes I think he is funny when he splashes and sometimes he makes me mad!




I’m starting to like solid food more and more. My favorite foods are prunes, peaches, bananas, and cheese but my favorite-est food of all is mommy’s milk. I’m nursing a little less these days to make way for the big people food but milk is still where it’s at! A week or so ago I got to try Cheerios for the first time and they rock! I can pick them up but I can’t quite figure out how to put them in my mouth. That’s right. I have developed a pincer grasp! They are so yummy! Big brother sometimes helps me with the O’s. What really helps me out with the whole eating thing is that I finally have TWO teeth! They’re just kind of sort of pooping through on the bottom in the middle but they are there. Just ask mommy!








We’ve really been enjoying some of the spring-like weather here. Mommy and daddy have taken me and big brother to the park a couple of times. I mostly sit and watch but I love being outside in the sunshine. Heck, I even like being outside when it’s not sunny. It gives me a chance to drive my car.




I also started sleeping in my own room this week. I made it until 2:00 am the other night before getting into bed with mommy and I made it until midnight last night. I know mommy needs to stretch out and have her space so she can get her much, much needed beauty rest but she’s my snuggle bug and I love to nurse all night long! I can’t help it!! I’m getting better and moving into my own room was a big step.

Well, as most of you know, I’m heading to West Virginia next week. I can’t wait to see all my family and meet all the new babies! Me, Christian, Jake, Brody, Patrick, and Gabriel are totally going to hang like drapes. We’re going to have such a good time. Gavin his looking forward to seeing his future wife, Isabella, and we can’t wait to see all the new stuff Emma can teach us. Mommy will send out the details of our trip over the weekend.

Well, that’s all from here. Another busy month in the life of the Goose. Mommy and daddy are great. They celebrated their third wedding anniversary and we all spent the day together on Sunday. Family rules.

I love and miss you all.

GEH.

Crapola

Our mechanical parent- and probably the better of all the parents when it comes to getting the Goose to sleep- died today. Granted, Grace was only a half pound away from the weight limit but I wasn't ready to see it go.

Rest in peace, Fisher Price Aquarium Swing, and thank you for all the good times... and by good times, I mean the sleep I got while my baby girl nestled peacefully in your loving arms.

Officially that mom

I didn’t get to share my joy yesterday as Lloyd took most of the day off and was hogging the computer when we were at home but I would like to announce that I AM OFFICIALLY THE MOM I HATE!!

Let me explain. It may seem so simple and commonplace to most of you but yesterday something happened at Target that has never happened before. Something I never dared to dream would happen actually happened. Something I thought only happened to moms who God smiled upon. Something I have seen many, many times but never personally experienced. Something I have looked at filled with jealousy and anger because I was not able to experience it for myself. My day has finally come.

I am officially a mom to a baby who will sleep in a stroller!

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Please, hold your applause until the end of the blog entry.

First and foremost, I would like to thank the fine folks at Graco for making the stroller and secondly, I would like to thank Lloyd for taking Gavin all the way to the other side of the store so I could shop in peace. Of course, I have to thank God for giving me my beautiful, easy-going, laid-back, stroller-sleeping daughter and realizing that after giving me Gavin, my blood pressure would not be able to take another one like him.

So I was walking around the store checking out the big tank top sale (I live in strappy tanks when it is warm out) and Grace kind of started fussing. I actually thought about bringing her into the store in the Bjorn but now that she weighs 20% of my own body weight, toting her around in the Bjorn is not getting an easier. Besides, I wanted to try on clothes. I started cursing myself for not bringing her in the Bjorn because I hate strollers and I figured that like when Gavin was a baby, I would wind up carrying a screaming baby while pushing a stroller throughout the store. Anyhoo, I finished looking through the rack and I turned around to “ssssshhhhh sssssshhhhh ssssshhhhh” her and lo and behold, my baby girl was asleep. Right there, still sitting straight up in the stroller under the bright fluorescent lights was mine and Lloyd’s offspring sleeping in a stroller. I didn’t think it was possible for us to produce such a creature capable of such an imaginable feat. I held my head high and shopped for about 45 minutes while countless people oohhhhed and ahhhhed over my sleeping baby. I was the mom of a baby sleeping in a stroller and able to shop until my heart was content.

I didn’t have the camera with me so no shot of the Goose sleeping but just so you have a frame of reference, this was Gavin at 9 months the second his butt hit the stroller:

Have mercy

If I have to say "NO!!!!!!!!!!" one more time today, I think I'm going to have a heart attack. I swear, I'm having chest pains and it is only one o'clock; six more hours until I can put the boy in bed and start chugging sour apple vodka and sprite like nobody's business. He is about as cute as cute can be and thank goodness is acting out is punctuated with moments of adorableness or I would have stuck him out in the front yard with a sign "free to good owner" hours ago.

Poor Grace has taken the brunt of his evilness today. He has knocked her over, pinched her, bit her, covered her with blankets (a game he calls "under"), and woken her from her naps about a hundred times today. He also threw his lunch all over the floor and took drinks of water only to spit them back out all over the table. Plus, he has pooped flax seed peanut butter three times today!!!! Did I mention it is only one o'clock? It didn't help that I took him to a consignment sale this morning and had to drag him out kicking and screaming just as I have done the two times before at as many sales.

He has occasionally climbed on my lap and given me a hug or pointed to the mole on my neck and said "mole, mole, mole, mole, mole" a la Austin Powers in Goldmember- which always makes me laugh. He also requested a banana this morning by saying sweetly "a-nana, a-nana, a-nana" in a sing-song fashion and when I got the banana he started singing "a-mama, a-mama, a-mama" like I deserved my own cheering section for fetching his beloved fruit. I have to keep reminding myself of the good times or else Lloyd is going to have to stop and get the sign making materials on his way home.


NO, GAVIN!!!!!!! GRACE DOESN'T WANT TO PLAY UNDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Daily celebrations

I almost forgot my wedding anniversary. In fact, had it not been for the anniversary card my grandmother sent to me over the weekend, I may have totally forgotten. I was so close to forgetting my anniversary that as I read the happy anniversary card from grandma I simultaneously racked my brain to figure out what anniversary she was talking about and wondered why dad hadn’t told me grandma has Alzheimer’s and is randomly sending out happy anniversary cards to people.

It’s not that I don’t love my husband and it’s not that I’m bad with dates. Quite the contrary, really; I absolutely adore my husband and I have a Rain Man quality about me when it comes to remembering dates. I still remember the birthday of my best friend in the fourth grade (August 6th), the day I saw Con Air with the boy I thought I loved but never told (June 11th), and the day I had my appendix removed 18 years ago (March 9th). I just didn’t even realize it was March, never mind mid-March, and the kids keep me so busy.

Time is a complete blur. It honestly feels like Grace should only be a week old. We threw out all of Gavin’s old bottle nipples last night and I was practically in tears and just amazed that it has almost been two years since Gavin even needed a bottle nipple. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I see the 20 year old college junior getting ready for a summer working at Cedar Point Amusement Park. That was TEN YEARS AGO! An entire decade has passed and so much has happened and changed yet I have stayed so much the same. Also, my mind is so totally and completely consumed with all things Gavinator and Goose related that there really isn’t room for much of anything else. That sounds really horrible, doesn’t it? As if I’m one of those women who become so wrapped up in their children that they put their marriage on the backburner only to wake up one morning to find the kids off at college and their husband off with the secretary. The kids will go off to college one day but the rest of that scenario will never happen for two reasons:

1. Lloyd will never work in the kind of place where he has a secretary

2. I absolutely adore my husband

My mind may be completely consumed with my children but that is mainly because they are two years of age and younger and this is the time when I should be wrapped up in my children. It is not a reflection of how I feel about my husband but rather how I feel about parenting during these critical early years. That’s not to say that somehow parenting will become less important as our children age and Lloyd and I have an understanding that while parenting will always be a priority for both of us (not just because of necessity but because we enjoy parenting), it will not always be all consuming like it is now with a high needs toddler and an infant. We’re not going out for our anniversary because Grace still needs to nurse all evening and night and is at the height of separation anxiety and because no one in their right mind would want to keep up with the Gavinator for even just a few short hours.

We have to be creative to come up with ways to keep our marriage fresh while balancing two young children during not only the tender years of their lives, but also the tender years of our marriage. We’ve been parents for almost as long as we have been married but I honestly think that is an advantage. Sure, we didn’t get to have years and years together to live it up as a young married couple but we also didn’t have years and years together to get too comfortable. Besides, love is love and when you find that one, it works. Even in the face of countless poopy diapers, endless night-long nursing sessions, empty bank accounts, and more shrieking than any one human should ever have to endure, our love has stayed as strong as it was when we first met.

I often feel that people are waiting for us to fail since this is the second marriage for both of us. I was married for less than a year the first time and Lloyd was married for less than two. I think, and perhaps it is all in my head, that people look at us and wonder what we could possibly know about love. Two people who were divorced in two years or less who then meet and are married in less than a year and parents in a little more than a year. Certainly not conventional but then, who wants to be conventional? I just want to be in love with and wife wife to a wonderful husband and a mother to two fabulous kids who just so happen to poop an excessive amount. I remember when Lloyd and I began our whirlwind romance I had to fight the urge to defend our relationship because I knew the best defense would not be with words but with anniversaries. I may not always remember them but it doesn’t mean I don’t spend the days, weeks, and months leading up to them celebrating. Three down, many more to go. Take that

Third Anniversary

I know he probably picked this up at a grocery store Hallmark this morning Monday on his way to meet me and the kids the bowling alley but I don’t think there could possibly be a more perfect anniversary card out there:

On Our Anniversary

Today, in the midst of our busy lives…

… let’s take a few moments
to sit back and relax,
when we don’t have to be anywhere
or do anything
in particular…

let’s find some time
to look back
on the past year
and on all
we’ve accomplished
and look forward
to all that may be waiting
for us
in the year ahead

but mostly
in these moments
let’s celebrate us…

Calendar Girls

From an e-mail I received:

We are contacting you via flickr as we'd love to discuss
with you the possibility of using your breastfeeding photo
”Snack in the Park” in our Calendar next year.
Baby Milk Action is a non-profit campaign group in the UK.
We produce the International Baby Food Action Network
Breastfeeding Calendar each year. Our 2006 calendar can be
seen at www.babymilkaction.org.
Many copies of our calendar are displayed in maternity
hospitals and health clinics. Would you be kind enough to
get in touch with us at: info@babymilkaction.org to let us
know whether you would be interested in your photo being
used. If you contact us we will be able to send further
info on the calendar to help you decide.

Another day at the park

The dudes



The dudettes

The times they are a changin'

What a week! We have been so busy and with the beautiful spring like weather here in the southeast, serious blogging has fallen to the wayside in an attempt to allow the G unit to soak up some Vitamin D and enjoy some family time outside. I am very big on when the weather is nice, we are outside. I have managed two three mile walks and Gavin has fallen asleep exhausted on several occasions after a trip to the park and evenings spent pushing his cars and toy lawn mowers up and down, up and down, up and down the street hundreds of times. Wednesday I took the day off and I took the kiddos on a walk alone. I pushed the Goose in her red car (formerly Gavinator's red car) and pulled Gavin in the wagon only to pass in front of a neighbor's house with toys and bikes in the front yard and have Gavin jump out of the wagon to try to play with their toys. Heaven knows the boy has the exact same toys in our garage but the allure of toys belonging to someone else was too much for the boy to bear. He lept out of the wagon and exercised his klepto ways and finally I had to carry the boy away kicking and screaming while pushing Grace in the red car and pulling the wagon. Good times. I lost a pound this week.... I wonder why?!?

I took Wednesday off of work so we could visit a preschool and so I could check in on Gavin's progress in speech therapy. Gavin loved, loved, loved preschool as did Lloyd and I. Small classrooms with educated teachers coupled with the notion of 9 glorious Gavin-free hours during the week for Lloyd was enough to make our heads explode. It is close to our house and affordable and it took every ounce of my muscles to drag him out of there so I think we found a winner. Try as I might I'm trying to get all mushy and sentimental over my baby boy growing up and attending preschool but the time has come. He is ready and more importantly, we are ready. Our boys is a social outcast having never spent much time around children his own age and living a life of total and complete freedom with every whim being filled in our home and limited structure. He jumped right into to several classrooms and even tried on some kid's Thomas the Train backpack. We were debating whether or not to put him in the two year old or three year old class this fall (as his birthday falls just 5 days after the cutoff) but after seeing the three year olds tracing letters with pencils and watching our boy trying to EAT the pencils, we are going to start him in the two year old room. Preschool at this point, in our minds, is less about academia and more about socialization and we feel he will probably fall more in ine with the two year olds. That is who he will be starting school with given his birthday after the cutoff and this visit only reaffirmed our decision to put him in with the two year olds.

At speech therapy I was so impressed with his progress. I am in awe at so far he has come in such a short amount of time. He will outgrow Babynet (the provider for his therapy) when he turns three and I received some bad news that he will more than likely not be receiving therapy from the schools after he turns three. The good news is that he won't receive therapy because he doesn't need it! He is pretty much age appropriate at this point and his vocabulary is growing daily. The words he can't say, he can sign and communication has increased by an infinite amount in just a few short months. He is putting words together and transitioning with ease. I almost burst with pride right there! After speech I took him out for ice cream (vanilla with M&Ms) and he smacked his lips and said "MMmmmmmm, yummmmmmm, that's good! Oh yeah, yummmmmmmmm" after almost every bite. He even wiped his mouth with a napkin!

We went to the park after that and ran and jumped and played and we ended our time at the park on the swings. The baby swing was too low to the ground so I sat on a big person swing and put him on my lap facing the opposite direction with his lags wrapped around me (we used to call this "the spider" back in the day). Every time we swung up I would kiss his forehead. After a couple of minutes I stopped the kissing and he said "more" to indicate he wanted more kisses. There we were in the spider position on the swing with the late winter sun shining down on us and me kissing his sweet forehead with every upswing. There is a heaven and I tasted it that afternoon. It is salty with a faint hint of vanilla and chocolate.

She's a Star!!

Too cool! The Goose was picked as Baby Image of the Day over at Blogging Baby!!!

Eight and a half months

My kids learn to drive at eight and a half months:

The Gavinator



The Goose

I can't explain it

There is something about the this song that just makes me feel, taste, smell.... makes me just be what it is they are singing.

Certain songs just affect me so strongly and for those few minutes when I am hearing them I am in that time and place when they meant and felt so much. They do still mean so much.

Ode to the casting gods

I don't know who you are but casting gods over at Real World Key West; I think I may just love you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for casting Paula. Ninety-four pound, diet-pill popping, anorexic Paula who, in two nights with her new roommates in Key West, had as many nervous breakdowns and even hyperventilated after a fellow cast member made fun of her small boobs. You do know breasts are made of fat and anorexics don't have much fat, don't you, Paula?

I have been a huge fan of The Real World since its first season in New York way back in 1991. I spent many a nights in Nikki G's basement with all my friends at Real World parties and I have yet to miss an epsiode. These days I go to bed too early to watch them when they air but thanks to MTV airing all their shows from the week all weekend long, I never miss a beat.

Oh, Real World. Sweet, mind-numbing, IQ-dropping Real World, how do I love you? Let me count the ways.... I'm a thirty year old mom of two and I don't know how to quit you. Nor do I want to.

At least he's polite about it

The Gavinator has always been in the business of becoming extremely pissed when he sees the Goose with a toy- any toy. It could be a brand new toy bought just for her, a toy he never had any interest in, or a toy he hasn't played with in 2 years and once the Goose has her hands on it, the toy suddenly turns into the Holy Grail of Toys. The toy that must be had; the toy that will be had. You can see the little hamster wheel in his noggin turning faster and faster and he all but rubs his little hands together and cackles "It will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine. Bwahahahahahaha!!". Being the big brother and the only one with all the gross and fine motor skills, he snatches to the toy away from her leaving a very angry and sometimes blubbering Goose in his wake. Today he has started following up his toylifting with a very sweet "Pease!" before going about his business. The polite gesture is totally lost on Goose but as a mom who wants to raise her kids with manners, I'm proud, amused, and annoyed all at the same time.

A day in the park

Public display of breastfeeding. Honestly, I don't get what all the fuss is about.

It’s like Amityville Horror

Or Groundhog Day.

Grace has woken up the past three mornings at 1:53 am. First and foremost, can I get a hell yeah that the Goose is sleeping straight from 7:00 pm – 1:53 am without making a peep?!? While the sleeping for almost 7 hours straight is fantastic, isn’t it kind of weird that for the past three mornings I hear her crying and I immediately look at the clock and it is 1:53 am on the nose? It’s just like those movies where people keep waking up at the exact same time every morning. In Amityville, George woke up every night at 3:15 am- the exact same time the DeFeo murders took place. In Groundhog Day, Phil is stuck in a continuous time loop and wakes up every morning at 6:00 am living the same Groundhog Day over and over again. We aren’t stuck in a continuous time loop so now I’m left to wonder who was murdered in my house 1:53 am and how the hell can I get the demons to leave her alone until at least 5:00 am.